updates and updates

i just submitted me a job application to the department of homeland security. i feel dirty, yes, but i also feel semi-productive and that i might have a hint of potential.

other than that, i've been winning money [for other people] at poker; or having heated pokemon debates during raging ping pong tournaments (while on the clock); or interspersing cutting-edge motion-sensor zombie shoot-em-ups with archaic NES games from my infancy (while perhaps mildly intoxicated); or hearkening back to pre-pubescence to watch giant general motors robots try to destroy los angeles, jon voight, and john turturro (jesus himself) on the big screen; or spending hours reading about and talking about cars in an inexplicable outbreak of enthusiasm over automotive performance and racing (watched my first full length formula 1 grand prix last week). all in all, an uncharacteristic amount of parenthases and videos like this:



by no means an empty plate, but i still feel somehow just slightly incomplete. probably because of the prominent pacific northwestern absence that i've yet to address. oddly, i'm probably meeting more people now than i have since arriving for a stint in the midwest four years ago. there's actually been quite a decent balance of solitary confinement and social butterflyism. i have only a few true friends here, though, if any. that's of my own design, i know. so, things can get lonely. it's weird, though. it's that sort of loneliness that spurs on an interest in the people around me more than making me feel down. i'm doing ok. hell, even my psychiatrist, in all his demented pharmaceutical wisdom, wants me to officially become the one person in this country who is easing themself off of the antidepressants, one of the last remnants of my true rock-bottom of years past. i just wish i were playing more music.

recommended music:
kashmir - small poem of old friend
explosions in the sky - remember me as a time of day